Still not dead!

Only barely though... I think my job is sucking the life out of me.

T-minus 8 hours, and I will be off work for a full week though, so hopefully I'll get some good blog time in.

In the meantime, THIS:

... makes me very, very happy. :) (source)

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I'm not dead!


I've just been crazy busy :( I'm in the middle of cleaning the apartment and trying to get ready to leave to FINALLY finish Christmas shopping, but I'll have plenty of time tonight to write a nice, long, catchup blog post. Complete with pictures!

Hurrah :)

Manic Monday

So I fully intended to post yesterday evening about the recipes I made for Thanksgiving... and our Christmas decorations... and our new apartment layout... and generally what's been happening with life... but we ended up heading out to do some Christmas shopping as soon as I got off work, and didn't get home until late.

I would promise a post today, but I'm teaching this evening, and then making some curtains, so it will most likely be tomorrow.

BUT!!! It will be a mind blowing post :)

Recipes I'll be sharing:
Parmesan Roasted Butternut Squash
Potato Gratin with Mushrooms and Gruyere
Maple Torte
AND from last night's dinner... Butternut Squash Orzo with Parmesan. (completely unrelated to the first recipe... I just really like the butternut and parmesan combo.)

ALSO! I'll be sharing pictures of some crafty projects I'm working on... as well as some AMAZING vintage finds from McCart thrift :)

 In the meantime, I love you all! Have a fabulous Tuesday!

xoxo
schmash

Thanksgiving fail?

So, who actually expected me to post those recipes on Thanksgiving day? Not me. haha. It was worth a shot though!

But I'm going to make it up to you! Here's the tour of our apartment (the new setup), and our Christmas decorations!

 

Yay!

Nut and Bee.

omgaaaaaaah.

I just found the CUTEST shop on etsy. Maybe it's just my style, but I LOVE these cute prints! Some of them are really too precious, and others are cracking me up! Someone please buy me EVERYTHING in here. K thx.

nutandbee etsy shop

nutandbee website

 

I mean, seriously. What's not to like???

Thanksgiving

That's right, it's already here! Since I've been so fail at posting the last week, I'm going to preempt my post-feast laziness by giving you a preview of the recipes that I WILL be posting tomorrow. Possibly after a nap. No, definitely after a nap.

That way I can't back out and just NOT post! My plan is foolproof, and my logic is flawless, I know.

What I'll be making tomorrow:

Potato Gratin with Mushrooms and Gruyere

link

Parmesan Roasted Butternut Squash

link

Coriander Roasted Cauliflower

(from a previous post)

Maple Cake (minus walnuts)

link

Let the feasting begin!! I can't wait. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday!

A little sunshine for ya :)

Ok, so I fail on the posting this weekend/week. I've got a BUNCH of pictures to share with y'all, when I get my camera back from Mom on Thursday. Until then, please enjoy this video. It makes me smile and crack up laughing :)

Love love love!

I just had to post this necklace. I'm in love with it.

Trapeze Artist Necklace

It's so lovely! I just couldn't resist showing y'all :)

I've also followed a lot of fun new blogs recently, you should check them out!

xoxo
schmash

Pictures!

Here is the slideshow! I'll be posting some of my favorites when we get the digitals. Brad is such a genius, he really captured who we are! I love these pictures, I'm so excited we've got some current ones. Enjoy :)

http://garybradford.zenfolio.com/p248933035/slideshow

Happy Friday!

I caught my microwave on fire right before work! Weeee!

It's cool. I smothered it, and opened the windows to let the apartment air out. It's kind of freezing outside though... so I tossed another blanket into the puppies' crate before I ran out the door. They like to snuggle, plus, they have fur coats. They'll be great.

In other, non-combustible news, I'm working on some tshirt designs for a startup nonprofit called Love Help Teach. It's aimed at providing living necessities (shoes, shelter, food), education and medical services to the children of a Roma (gypsy) village in the Ukraine.

The foundation is being started by a friend from work's aunt and uncle, who travel to the village several times a year. The process of starting the foundation began when they were unable to adopt a little girl from this village, but wanted to improve her (and all the other children's) quality of life. Their main focus is children, but they do provide for the needs of adolescents and adults in the community as well.

They do not, as of yet, have an official website, but I'm going to get as much information as possible from my friend at work, and I'll be updating about the foundation (as well as posting design ideas) along the way.

For an article with basic information on the Roma people, and their history and presence in Ukraine, see this article.

I know, it's wikipedia, but if you're careful to check the sources cited and use other references to verify the veracity of the article, wikipedia can be a great tool. Anyways, this isn't a research paper, this is my blog. So there.

Thrifty Love and Delicious Wednesday

I finally remembered to grab my camera from my parents' house yesterday!

So here you go, a couple of the thrift treasures I picked up this weekend with Michelle Coiner! Lovely, lovey vintage green polka dot wrap dress:

 

Even though I really suck at tying bows... I love the bow detail. I think that's my favorite part :)

This lovely bag, which, I'm not sure is actually vintage, but is gorgeous and the perfect size for me to carry me around every day.

 You can already see I've stuffed more "stuff" into it than it was every meant to carry... but eh, what can I say? I like my stuff.

And HERE.... drumroll please... is what I made for dinner tonight! Creamy chorizo and chicken soup! Adapted from this recipe.

I tweaked just a little... I sauteed the chicken with onion, and I scaled the recipe down a bit so it wouldn't make such a huge batch (it still made a TON!!). The chorizo I bought was pretty spicy, so I omitted the mexican stewed tomatoes, and I added a can of corn.

I think it would be really easy to make vegetarian, or even vegan. Instead of using chorizo, add a can of tomato paste, and instead of chicken, use tofu. If you live somewhere that doesn't have a ton of hispanic influence... coughcough.... Australia... you'd be able to add a teaspoon of paprika and cumin, and you'd be good to go with much the same flavor!

And one of my personal favorite ways to eat cauliflower... coriander roasted!

1 head cauliflower, rinsed and cut into florets
2 Tbsp. EVOO
1 tsp. truffle oil (or not... I just like the taste!)
2 tsp. ground coriander
1 tsp. paprika
1/2 tsp. cumin
pinch nutmeg

After rinsing and cutting the cauliflower, pat dry and set aside.

Combine oils and spices in a glass bowl or jar, let sit for at least half an hour.

Preheat oven to 425. Line a baking pan with foil. Toss cauliflower with oil and spice mixture to coat thoroughly, spread on baking sheet. Bake for 20 min, turn cauliflower, bake additional 10 minutes, or until crispy.

Voila! Enjoy :)

xoxo
schmash

Photos!

We just did a photo shoot with the ever-incredible Brad Martens, of Gary Bradford Photography.

We haven't had pictures done since... oh... our wedding... so we thought it was about time! Brad's work is absolutely stunning, so I can't wait to see what he does with our pictures. We went downtown and did a lot of urban, rooftop kind of stuff. I can't wait to see them!

I'll post previews as soon as I get them, but in the meantime, you should check out his website and get a sneak peak of the awesomeness that is in store!

Gary Bradford Photography

Do it!


xoxo
schmash

Thrift Weekend

Had a LOVELY time thrifting with Michelle Coiner this weekend! I found LOTS of lovely things, which I will share with you when I get my camera back from Mom :)

Also... lots and lots of cooking yesterday. Salted caramels, roasted winter vegetables, baked turkey meatballs, and red velvet cake. I don't think I'll post pictures of those... as they disappeared at the dinner party for which they were created! I'll post recipes when I post pics of the thrift loot!

Thinking about steering the blog in a crafty/handmade/cooking direction... thoughts?

Food Gawker.

This is my new favorite website. I'm in love.

www.foodgawker.com

Seriously. Go look. Now.

nomnomnomnomnom

I just saw this website, courtesy of Michelle Coiner, and I had to share.

I totally know what I'm doing this weekend. Who has a birthday coming up? They're getting these.

www.bakerella.com

btw - she is my new hero.

Love Love Love

I wish this was my life, but I'm perfectly content to live in this girl's world for now :)

http://www.abeautifulmess.typepad.com/

Also:

http://redvelvetgirls.typepad.com/emma

~and~

http://racheldenbow.blogspot.com/


xoxo
schmash

Wheeeeee!!!!

It's a new blog post! Can you believe it?!? I know, I can hardly believe it either. I realized that my last post is REALLY depressing, and makes me sound just a little whiny and pathetic, so I figured I'd write a new one to take its place.

This isn't much, but I hope to be better about this in the future, so here's my best shot at a head start! I spent so much time updating my playlist that I'm about to start dozing off in bed without having actually written anything... so here goes!

My life in a nutshell (in order of least to greatest importance):

The Job: I have a great job. I'm really blessed to be at the company I'm at, with the friends I've made. I'm lucky to have a job, period, so I feel doubly lucky to have ended up (for the moment) in such a wonderful place. I could not have asked for a better manager, we have such a great time and work SO well together! Other than the part about me not liking what I actually do so much... the job is peachy :)

The Hobbies: I've become a super geek lately. I'm actually sewing one of those felt Advent Calendars for Christmas. I'm actually enjoying it, despite being painfully slow and not knowing how to do half the stitches. Plus, Mom is always doing some sort of crafty thing like this, so we're getting to spend a lot of time together, since I'm constantly begging for help.

On a super awesome side note: I've begun this project! And I'm really excited :)



Basically, they send you a sketchbook and a theme (Mine is Science Project Gone Wrong), and you have until January 15 to fill 'er up and send 'er in! As long as you don't change the dimensions of the book, anything is fair game! They put a barcode in the sketchbook when you send it back, and when folks check your sketchbook out at the tour, you get an email that tells you where it is!! Cool, huh? I'm really really really excited about it, if you couldn't tell!

More on Hobbies: I've been focusing on my personal style recently. Yes, I realize that sounds totally conceited. I've just realized that I'm actually kind of terrible at being a girl :/ I don't really know what my personal style is, or what things I even like to wear and what looks good on me. So I've been trying to make conscious decisions about what I'm wearing, how I'm wearing it, whether I feel like my personality is reflected in what I'm wearing, and how what I'm wearing makes me look. I guess I just feel like I'm getting swallowed in Ann Taylor, since I just sit in an office building in a cubicle all day long. I just want to feel like me, and I think I'm slowly but surely getting better at being a professional version of myself, not just some corporate goonie.

The Interests: Losing weight, honestly. I guess this kind of goes with the personal style thing, but it's a little more important than that. Promise you won't laugh when I say why!! Larry's lost a LOT of weight cycling, and he's got this sweet haircut and beard thing going, and he looks a lot like the front man for Kings of Leon. Super, super hot. And, honestly, I want to look like his wife, like we belong together. I feel like while he's settled in to his stride as an adult, I've just kind of floundered. He doesn't do anything to make me feel like that, I just want to go out, and when people look at us, they think, "Those two were made for each other!" Is that so bad? I don't think so. Okay, you really can laugh, because it's totally silly and I know it doesn't matter to Larry in the least, I'm just being a girl!

Anyways, I've started a diet called the Up Day, Down Day diet. You can look it up if you'd like, but basically you eat normally on "up" days, and eat 20% of your normal calorie intake on "down" days. You effectively eat less over time, while maintaining your metabolism and tricking your body into staying away from starvation mode. I think the science around it seems pretty sound, and also the method is something I can definitely stick to. I've been cycling with Larry once or twice a week, and I **try** to do yoga at least every other morning. So we'll see how this goes!

The Marriage!: Is great :) I don't think we've ever been in a healthier place in our relationship. We've been put through some stressful situations recently, with full-time jobs, his school, my teaching, family drama, etc., and all of that has forced us to be perfectly honest with each other about everything. I feel like we communicate better and more effectively now more so than we ever have, even though we see each other less than at any other point in our relationship. We've been able to get our priorities straight, set realistic goals for our immediate and distant future, and we've also come to a point where we're content with the things we just don't know yet, the things we can't control. Altogether, we're so much happier together now than we've ever been, and I can't say enough how thankful I am for Larry. I don't think I do a good enough job of telling him how much he means to me, and how proud I am to be his wife!

We have made the decision to look for a rent house when our lease is up here, because 1) we want a yard and plenty of room for babies and 2) we don't want to buy since we don't know where Larry's school will take him at the end of this program. We have also decided: SPOILER ALERT!!! that we are going to start trying to have a baby by late spring 2011!! After having many detailed discussions about our goals and values and desires for our life, we've decided that we're ready. There are a lot of factors that go into this, but I won't bore you guys with that stuff. Some of it's financial, some of it is our physical living space, some of it is our age, and a lot of it has to do with our emotional maturity. We're just ready, and we're going to be so excited when it finally happens :)

Anyways... I hate to leave you on a cliffhanger like that ;) but I'll be posting soon. I love you!!

xoxo
schmash

Here we go again.

Hey... so... remember that post where I was talking about the board game and feeling like people who don't do jack in life are always exactly where I want to be and getting the things I've worked so hard for?

Remember what specific issue started that whole post?

Well good. Because it's happening ALL OVER AGAIN. Awesome.

I had honestly fooled myself into believing that since I'd made other plans, started to go a different direction with my life, take opportunities and all of that, I wouldn't feel this way again. I honestly don't know what it is about this whole situation that hurts so badly, but the only thing I can think of is that deep down, I really want THAT. THAT is what I want so much more than anything else I could ever want with my life. And I guess the fact that it's totally out of my control and totally out of my grasp just kills me.

Why should I bother worrying about it? It will happen soon enough, exactly when it's supposed to, but the fact that it's not any closer today than it was six months ago just grieves me. I had a really honest conversation with a good friend about how I was feeling (after I'd taken half an hour to just freak out), and she had some really great advice (beyond just understanding how I feel).

She said it wasn't wrong to be upset, or to be grieved that it wasn't my situation just yet. That it's not wrong to feel that it's somehow unfair, or to need a few days to get over it. But she made a point to say that there's got to be a separation between what I'm feeling (grief, depression, frustration, anger) about my situation, and what I'm feeling about theirs. If the roles were reversed, and it were me in her situation, would I want someone to be angry at me for something I 1) had a limited amount of control over, and 2) that I'm really excited about? Of course not. It definitely helped to talk to her about it, and get some perspective from someone who's really been there in the midst of it.

It doesn't really make me feel any better, but at least I've got more of a clear head about it.

Ugh.

Rude customers.

I HATE HATE HATE it when clients ask me to put together an estimate and proposal after we've already spoken over the phone several times and emailed back and forth and THEN doesn't contact me to let me know to proceed or not.

If you WANT your project done, you HAVE to tell me "yes, the estimate is good, get going."

If you DON'T want to pay for my work, AT LEAST have the decency to TELL ME SO.

Ugh. Rant over.

I am....

Working on a new layout/header and all that jazz. Patience, please.


That is all for now.

Epic Fail :)

Yes, epic fail on my part. I don't even remember how long it's been since I've updated. The last time was at Shoe Gypsy, so at least three weeks ago. My bad!

I started the new job... there's honestly not much to say about it other than it's not very exciting. I edit and print for 8 hours a day. Anyways. I'm grateful for the paycheck and for the insurance. Everyone I work with is awesome, they're all super nice and they're helping me get adjusted.

That's pretty much all I do now... so I don't have much to write! I am researching school, which I've already told both of the people who read this blog :) I'm most interested in med school, and I've contacted a couple of doctors to get an opinion about my academic situation. I won't know how soon I can start night classes, where I'll go or what I'll take until I talk to anyone, but at least it's in the work.

Anyways... my life's not that exciting. Not right now anyways. Hopefully soon things will start moving forward!

xoxo
schmashmelia

Scent Memories??

Do you ever smell something and all the sudden it takes you right back to a certain place or time??? Or is that just me? For instance, I'm at work and the front door is open, and some mixture of car exhaust, cigarette smoke, fresh baked bread and dogwood trees took me right back to Notre Dame, in Paris. Isn't that strange?? Just for a second I was lost in that memory, it was so specific!

There was a street along the side of Notre Dame, opposite of the river, where there were several touristy sorts of shops and little cafes. I remember standing just outside the cafe, looking up at the gargoyles adorning the corners of the cathedral, and I'd just gotten a coffee with milk from one of the cafes. It was kind of chilly in the shade at about 10:00 in the morning, so I had my hands wrapped around the cup. A girl with long black curly hair walked in front of me with several loaves of bread wrapped in brown paper. It was kind of a wide street so there were several trucks and cars delivering various things to the shops. The street was paved with cobblestones, all rounded squares and various shades of gray and dirty.

And that's it. That's the whole memory. There's so much detail, and yet so little in that single snapshot from my memory. I don't remember, for instance, what I was wearing, or who I was standing next to. I don't remember exactly what we did after that, or exactly what day that was, or exactly what time. But so much detail about what I saw and smelled and felt.

Strange, huh?

EVEN WEIRDER.... I found the EXACT spot I was standing, using Google Maps. So so so so so weird.

This is the aerial view of Notre Dame, it's the big oval thing in the middle. haha. On top of that, where the 4 dots are in a row, I'm standing about the second dot.

And in this picture, I was standing just in front of the popcorn cart thing. And if you turn around and face the part of the picture you can't see, you'd be looking at the north wall of Notre Dame.

So so so so weird you can actually find this on the internet. Kind of creepy too, I guess, if you think about it! :/

love,

schmash

So much to do...

And so little motivation to do it :) hahaha.

I've been SO stressed out over the past week that I've had ZERO energy for the past two days. Bleh. I hate feeling useless and unproductive! So I cleaned up a lot at the store today and brought home a bunch of the store dishes and the bathroom rug so I could wash them. And then I did our laundry and put our sheets on our bed since Larry had so kindly put them in the wash this morning when I left for work and even put them in the dryer when they were done! What a great hubbs :)

So my interview went really well on Tuesday, and I got the job, of course :) They met me at my salary requirements (which is dirt cheap for them I'm sure, but effectively doubles my income...), I will have full health coverage through Cigna (PPO, all I'll have is a regular copay), I am eligible to contribute to the 401K after 90 days, and they have a corporate membership to LA Fitness ($20 a month for me, which is waaaaay cheaper than what I'd normally pay). I don't know if/when I can add Larry to my health coverage, and how much it will cost if I can add him, so I'll have to find out about that. I also have 15 days PTO every year, plus 9 paid holidays. All in all, it's a pretty sweet deal. I just hope I can adjust to having a desk job.

AND TO THE 8-5 I'LL BE WORKING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRHHHH.

I'm not excited about that part, but it's worth it. With Larry starting school soon, I'm going to need to have something stable. Not to mention the health insurance.

Anyways. That's about it. Oh. Except for I didn't even mention what I'd be doing. haha. See? Useless :) I'll be in Production, which basically makes me a glorified editor. Except for I have kind of the final say on products going to the client, I'll be proofing and editing, researching product descriptions, and generally making sure it looks cool. Not as graphics-intensive as I would've liked, but all the members of the team I'll be working with are graphics veterans, so I'll have the opportunity to learn the entire Adobe Creative Suite (including Flash and a little Dreamweaver) from them. So that's pretty cool. Anyways, I'm brushing up on my AP stylebook skills, as well as reading the Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign "Classroom in a Book"'s.

We'll see how it goes :) That's about all I've got for now, and the hubbs just got home, so we're going to hang out!

love,
schmash

It's Monday!

And it's a beautiful day here. Breezy, right at 65F, and sunny! I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day to kick off spring break. Since I don't have any lessons this afternoon, I'm thinking of a bike ride... going to the park... you know... outdoorsy, sun-shiney sorts of things. haha.

Forgive me for not updating in a while, last week turned out to be really stressful. Long story short, I ended up being the principal for last night's Sinfonietta of Ft. Worth concert, and I spent every spare minute last week practicing for it. I was freaking out about all the music, so it's probably better that I didn't write about that, it would've just stressed everyone else out, too. However, all the practice paid off, the concert went REALLY well, definitely not the best performance of my career, but up there. Probably top 20 for sure.

Now that the concert's out of the way, the only thing I have to stress about is my interview tomorrow. Haha. It seems there's always something for me to stress about. Oh well. It'll be over tomorrow afternoon, for better or for worse. Obviously, they liked me the first time around, or they wouldn't be calling me back. They already know pretty much everything there is to know about me as a professional, so I'm guessing my lack of corporate experience and degree in the field aren't an issue for them, since they already know that and are calling me back. I know I have a lot to offer; I'm creative, I'm a self-starter, I can think and problem-solve on my own, and I know when I need to take the initiative and when I need to sit back and let someone else lead, or even ask questions when I need to. I have a lot of experience with all the programs they use, even if I don't have a degree. I have excellent recommendations from every single one of my previous employers. Blah blah blah... excuse me for self-assuring at the moment, it's how I deal :)

Anyways. I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow morning after a lesson at 9, and then I'll grab lunch and head to the interview. Hopefully Melissa's suggestion for my haircut won't be too outrageous for this company :) But I've already decided that I'm not going to sacrifice my young-ness and uniqueness to be a grown-up for this company. I may act like an adult, but I certainly don't want to look like a middle-aged corporate business professional. I'm okay with young-ish corporate business professional :) Besides, they like that I'm young. And creative people should dress creatively, right???

Peace and love,
schmash

It's Thursday!

Mel suggested this haircut:

 

And I kind of like it! A lot :) Larry likes it as well, so it's a go, I think. I've got to figure out who I'll be going to...  since leaving the church I'm not sure Clay will want to be around us. I'm not sure about that at all, but it's just a hunch. My friend Danelle, who works down the street from me at Salon on the Park, got her business cards through me and told me today she owes me a haircut, so it might be time to switch over. That all depends on how Clay decides to act. I hadn't seen him until tonight after the girls' bible study, and it wasn't for very long. Although it was long enough for him to mention that he'd cut Marla McClung's hair today. 

Just need to rant for a sec about that:

**ONE: WHY the hell would he think it was OK to bring up one of the girls Larry dated before we got back together IN FRONT of an entire room of people? My best possible guess is that he just didn't think it through. I wanted to say, "Hey, how about I go over to Bethany and tell her I ran into one of your ex-girlfriends that you used to LIVE WITH. How would that make you feel?" But I didn't. TWO: WHY the hell does she keep popping up? I am PERFECTLY happy to leave it in the past. To not EVER think about it EVER again. HOW does she keep coming back???? She's as bad as Ana. And that's saying something.**

The end of the rant.

Anyways.

SPEAKING OF the church, things went really well. Even better than I'd dared to hope, kind of shockingly and confusingly so. I wasn't sure if we'd get the cold shoulder, or a guilt trip, or something similar, for leaving the church, but everyone was really super supportive and encouraging. Which is a huge relief. And I'm glad it's over. It was, all at once, so much harder and so much easier, than what I'd thought it would be. I was really upset Sunday when I left the church, and I might have taken it out on Larry, but I knew then and I know now that it isn't his fault and I was wrong (shocker... I know...), and I already apologized and we made up :) 

AND just to brag on how amazingly awesome my wonderful husband is... 

This is my birthday present from him :) We've had them at the store for awhile... since September... and I've wanted them... and when Tabitha told me she'd let me have them half off instead of the usual 30%, I told Larry that's what I wanted :) So he got them for me :) and it's my birthday present, but I went ahead and started wearing them, because it doesn't make sense for them to sit in the box at home if I've got them. Now I just have to think of an awesome birthday present for him :) He's the best!

And now I'm off... my friend Tiffany's birthday is tomorrow, and she rented out a theater at the West 7th Movie Tavern for the premiere of Alice in Wonderland!!! I've got to go get dressed :) I'm wearing a wig and a fancy dress :) It's going to be a blast! I'll post pics tomorrow.

xoxo

schmash

So.. about that tough decision.

I was really hesitant to post it on here, just because I didn't even want to take the chance that someone other Mel or Amber would read it and cause drama. But then I realized, no one knows about this other than Mel or Amber! haha. I don't know what I was so worried about.

So the big news? That tough decision? We decided on Tuesday night to leave the church and go elsewhere. I've discussed it pretty extensively with both Mel and Amber, Amber being the most recent. She really encouraged me with the story about Abraham, where God told him to go, and he'd tell him where he needed to be when he got there. We don't know where exactly we need to be, but we'll know when we get there.

The main reason we're leaving is that we just need to be together. We've been going to different churches and it's really started to wear on us, and we just need to be together. Since Larry works at a church on Sunday mornings, it's only logical that I would go to be with him since I'm the one that actually has that choice. Secondly, we know we're not being challenged to grow spiritually at HighRidge. We don't want to assign blame or point fingers, but we simply need to be somewhere where we can grow spiritually, together.

There are other things that have influenced our decision of course, but they're all minor details in comparison with our primary reasons for leaving. None of those minor reasons are eternal, and they simply can't be changed by any action on our part. So whether they are right or wrong neither depends on nor concerns me and Larry, and it's not up to us to make a judgment about them.

Anyways. So we made the decision Tuesday night, and I didn't feel like it would be right to email them then and just leave them hanging for Wednesday rehearsal or Sunday morning, so we decided that we would write a formal letter, and once I got done with my rotation on Sunday I would put it in their box and leave and just not come back. We didn't feel like we should schedule a meeting and sit down and hash it out, because there's honestly nothing we couldn't just state in a letter, and when we're face to face we would run the risk of it becoming a more emotional thing than what we'd want. We just want to write a letter, say that we just need to be together in a place where we will be challenged to grow spiritually, and leave it at that. And whatever their reaction will be, we'll just deal with it then.

It was so strange to be at rehearsal last night though, I felt like such a fraud for being there and pretending like it was just any other week, not my last rehearsal at HighRidge ever. I felt like such an impostor, talking to people like I wasn't really trying to say goodbye to them. It was such an odd feeling, I felt like I was seeing everything through different eyes or something. I just remember that the pattern in the carpet was just so clear, and the exact fabric of the chairs. I don't know, maybe I just knew it was the next to last time I would have the chance to look at it. Isn't it strange the things we remember?

It was really hard to have conversations with people about things happening in the future, knowing full well that I wouldn't be there to take part in them, but having to pretend like I would be so I didn't give the big secret away. I felt awful talking to Steve Schoch and Steve Bowden in particular, they're just such cool guys, and I just know it's going to hurt their feelings a little bit when they find out. I already told Justin myself last night, and I think I'll end up sending an email to Steve Bowden and have Larry call Steve Schoch, I just don't want them to find out about it from anyone else but us. It just seems unfair somehow.

Oh well. I mean, we can't assume how anyone will react at this point. And Larry made a really good observation the other night, he said that the people who are meant to be our friends after this point will be there, and the people that aren't just won't be there. He's so wise about things like that. Well, in general, but especially about hard decisions involving relationships. I'm so glad I have him to encourage me that way, I don't think I would've been able to make this decision and stick with it, knowing that I was going to disappoint people the way we're about to.  But we made the right decision, and we're sticking with it, regardless of how hard it gets in the meantime. We know it's the right step to take. And that we're simply not going to be able to move on with our lives if we're still allowing ourselves to be trapped there.

Now all that remains is to write the letter, sign it, grow a pair and give it to them on Sunday. Wish me luck??

xoxo
schmashmelia

Tough Decisions

"God will never leave you empty. If something is taken away, He will replace it with something better. If He denies your request in a certain area, it is because He wishes to give you what is best. If He asks you to put something down, it is so you can pick up something greater."

-Roy Lessin

Had to make a tough decision yesterday. But I saw this on a friend's Facebook status, and I was encouraged. The decision is made, I just think the follow-through will be the hardest. But Larry and I are both believing that there is something better for us than our current situation. More later :)

Time for a haircut?

 

I think my bangs are a little too long... what do you think??

I've been working on growing my hair out for 1 year and nearly 5 months. In this time, I've gone to the above picture, from this one:

Not bad... I'm not really good at being consistent with my hairstyles. I've been impressed with how long I've kept committed to growing my hair out! It's changed colors of course... and it's been shaped up to suit it's various lengths in the meantime... but I've continued to let it grow. I think I just have really bad hair ADD. I think I kind of live vicariously through my hair... if that is even possible. My life isn't terribly exciting, so I make up for it with changing my hair constantly. haha.

I got my first real urge to change it the other day... I saw the picture below in a catalog for a new line we're picking up at the store called Coal Considered.

 

I LOVE her haircut. There are a couple of other pictures of this same model in the catalog, and the back is all asymmetrical, where it's really short in some spots and kind of long and wispy in others. My only objections to this kind of haircut are: 

1. I don't wear hats on a daily basis, and I don't know if it would be this cute without the hat.
2. When I had really short hair, it added 10 pounds, because my face is wide and my features are kind of flat. That, and when I gain weight, I show it in my face first and foremost. I could just lose 10-20 pounds, but realistically, I like cake. I can't guarantee I wouldn't gain it back oh say, around my birthday. Or the holidays.

So if I don't cut it short again, I would keep growing it, so that it would be really long. Like in the picture below:

Yes, I know she's asian. And that I am not. But this is the general idea, if I were to keep it long. What do we think? I think maybe the short hair would be more manageable for me, especially since I don't wash it that often, but I really like the idea of having long-ish hair. It makes me feel really feminine to have it longer.

Thoughts?

The Mushroom Planet Books

I just finished (well, not just... like, yesterday...) reading the first book in the Mushroom Planet series, it's called The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet. It's a kids' series, it was one of the very first sci-fi books written for children, in the from 1954 onward. The author is Eleanor Cameron, this is the cover of the first book:

I read the whole series for the first time when I was in 6th grade, and I've probably read it three or four times. I JUST found the second book on Amazon, along with a few of the other books. Luckily, the second book I found was a hardcover in good used condition for 12.99. Some sellers wanted upwards of 50.00 for them! And one even wanted freaking 600.00!!!! WTF?!? What book is worth that much money??? Anyways. It's a really fun series, and I'm enjoying reading it again from a more mature perspective :)

Tuesday is the day off :)

That's right, today is my day off... from everything! Exercise, work... all of that :) I slept in until 11:00 today, when I was woken by my wonderful husband, who told me he'd made me breakfast! How did I get blessed with such a wonderful man? Not only is it NOT his day off, he had to be up at 4:30 a.m. to go run sound for a 6:00 a.m. men's prayer service, he came back and napped, then got up and made me breakfast before he left to go to work all day today! I don't know when I did something so nice for him last, I'm ashamed to say. I'll have to get cracking on spoiling him rotten this week :)

So we ate together, then he finished getting ready and left for work. I laid in bed for a little while longer, then I got up and went to the store. I got back a little while ago, mixed up a big pot of chili, and now I'm sitting in front of the tv watching Seven Pounds and writing about what I'm doing! Not a bad day at all so far :) There's even flurries of snow falling outside. It feels a little bit like Christmas Break, and I'm feeling all warm and snuggly :) haha.

I just need to finish my laundry from yesterday and make sure the chili doesn't burn. haha.

Maybe I'll update again a little while later, if there's anything worth writing about :)

OH I almost forgot! New Music!

Larry got a new CD from our friend Brad (who is an EXCELLENT photographer, you should look at his work, it's INCREDIBLE!), and I'm in love with it!!

They are called Needtobreathe, and this is the first song off their latest, Outsiders. It's called Outsiders. lol. It's the song that pulls up on my playlist right now, but just in case I change it, here it is:




I'm discovering that I love bluegrass/folk style music. I'm partial to music that has open chords, banjo or mandolin (or both!), handclaps/foot stomps/snapping, and basically everything else that would make bluegrass/folk music what it is. It just adds a uniquely and refreshingly human element to the music, it just makes it more... real? I guess? Pure music, is what it is. It's not the canned stuff on the radio. Not processed to perfection. You can hear that he oversings a little, that pitch isn't always exactly perfect (not autotuned...). But that's what makes it so enjoyable and unique. The imperfection makes it feel familiar, like home.

Not that there's anything wrong with what's on the radio, it has its place for sure, and I have my days where I just need a little Britney to get me through, lol. This is just one of those albums I could listen to over and over again for weeks on end and not get bored.

These guys are great, you should definitely listen to their other stuff. The whole Outsiders album is great, if you're into that sort of thing. ;)

Anyways, I love it and I'm happy to recommend them. I can't wait to get ahold of their earlier albums and check them out!

February 22, 2010

Me and the Winston at work :)

So I decided that, instead of titling all of my posts "UPDATE" or "Update" or "Update... Finally," I would start dating them, because that makes more sense. haha. Because, technically, they're all updates. And I can't for the life of me seem to remember to write even just a little something every day, so they're kind of spaced out. 

Let's see... I guess there's actually kind of a lot to update about! So I'll try to condense it :)

1) I got Larry to read a book. AN ACTUAL BOOK!

Not that there's really anything technically wrong with NOT reading for pleasure, but we end up watching a LOT of TV in the time that we have together, which is usually really late at night. Watching TV or movies after like, 11:00 at night always keys me up and I have a hard time sleeping. I've always liked to read before bed, it relaxes me and kind of helps me wind down. Larry doesn't sleep very well, and he's kind of a night owl, so I thought maybe if we turned the TV off earlier, and got into bed and we both read for a little bit or just talked or something, it would help us both sleep. I mean, we already moved the TV out of our room, and that made a HUGE difference, so maybe if we tried winding down a little bit before we hit the hay we'd sleep even better? It was just a theory, but I think it's actually working really well. We're both falling asleep quicker, sleeping longer and having better quality of sleep, so that's good. 

Reading also improves vocabulary and language, and cognitive function, so I think it's definitely a good thing all around. I just had to find things that he would like to read, and I think I kind of hit the nail on the head with the Ender series by Orson Scott Card. He LOVES sci-fi stuff, and he devoured the first book, so we'll see how the rest of the series goes.

2) I started working out.

Yes, I know. We all thought it was impossible, but I just decided that it wouldn't be that hard to take better care of myself. I don't think that I'm fat, I don't think I'm unhealthy or a slob or anything like that, I just think that I could look and feel better and just feel better about myself. I'm doing abs Wed/Fri/Sun and legs Thurs/Sat/Mon. I'm resting on Tuesdays because Tuesdays are my day off and I want it to be my for real day off. haha. I'm going to walk/jog with Winston at some point, either in the mornings or at night, I haven't decided yet. But he needs to lose some poundage too. I'm going to start with that for the first couple of weeks, and then I'll figure in an arm/shoulder/back workout somewhere. I wanted to start with abs/legs because they need the most work :) I've been going for two days straight (which is a record for me... hahahaha) and I'm really sore, so I'm looking forward to not getting up early tomorrow morning!

3) I made fish, and Larry ate it!

Anyone who knows Larry knows what a huge feat that is. haha. I just got tilapia, which has a VERY mild flavor, and marinated it in crushed garlic, onions, white wine and olive oil. Then I baked it for half an hour at 350 with salt, pepper, paprika and tomatoes. It turned out really good, and Larry ate all of it and even said he didn't mind it. haha. I guess that's as good a compliment as I'm going to get for making him eat fish, so I'll take it. :) I'm proud of him, anyways, he's been making a HUGE effort to eat things outside his comfort zone, because he knows I like a lot of different kinds of food, and he wants to be able to enjoy it all with me :) Such a sweetie!

4) SPEAKING OF FOOD. We went to Tillman's Roadhouse for Valentine's Day.

Tillman's Roadhouse Website

 

  

 

It was food sex. That is all. So so so so so good. I highly recommend it to ANYONE who enjoys eating. Pricey, but you definitely wouldn't have to spend what we did, we just kind of went all out, since it was a special occasion and we don't do that very often. It was a wonderful experience, and we can't wait to go back! And take everyone we know to eat there...

__________________________________________________________________

Aaaaaaaaaaand... I think that's about all for now. I'm hoping to get Amber on here so she can at least see my blog, since we don't get to talk very often. I think she'd enjoy it, but we'll see :)

Peace and love,

xoxo

First Post of the New Year!

So it's been just a little while since my last post... ok more than just a little while :) But I've been busy! No really!

Let's see.. Christmas was fun... really busy. But fun. Between Larry and I working so much and not really seeing each other, it honestly didn't feel like Christmas at all until Christmas day, and then it was just kind of... over. But it snowed Christmas eve like CRAZY, so that helped it to feel a little more Christmas-y. :)

Mel and Chris came in town, and we got to see them a couple of times together before he left to go back home. I got to spend a WHOLE DAY with Mel in Dallas, we had a pretty good time :) I love that girl more than she knows! I enjoy so much just getting to go shop around with her and get coffee and just sit and talk and be ourselves. It's comfortable, just being together and talking about whatever comes up. I'm so blessed to have her around, even if she's not technically "around' very much! Fortunately, Skype is free and we get to talk fairly often. Though I haven't had the chance to really talk to her since she's been gone. Hopefully we'll get to catch up soon, though!

Beyond that... we've both just been working and I've picked up a couple of gigs playing oboe around the area... The most recent was for a production of "Little Women: The Musical" at North Crowley High School. Fun times. I don't really have anything to say about it except it was really cold and I still haven't been paid. haha. The kids did a really great job, they're all super-talented and the play went really well.

Larry is getting ready to go back to school. He wants to do the A&P program at TCC (aeronautics mechanic and technician... I think), then head to flight school so he can be a pilot for a major company. It must seem really random to pretty much anyone but me and his family, but he's actually wanted to be a pilot since he was really little. I guess he just never looked into it because it just didn't seem like an attainable reality. I was a little surprised when he told me, but I'm just glad he's found something he will want to do for the rest of his life that he will both enjoy and be paid well. He's doing all the research and has started the application process, so hopefully he'll be able to start this summer and get going with all of it.

I'm so happy that he's picked something that he's excited about and will enjoy. I really am. I'm glad it's only a 2-year program, and that financial aid stuff seems to be in our favor so far. I'm excited that he's come to the realization that sound engineering can only get you so far, and that he's pretty much already hit the glass ceiling as far as salary is concerned in that field. I'm even more excited about the fact that I didn't have to tell him as much, I just don't think it would've been conducive to our relationship for me to have said something along those lines to him.

It's a great program, he's already had interviews with several flight instructors at different schools and companies, and everything we're hearing is that it's a great field with pretty much limitless employment opportunities. I just want to go into it with both eyes wide open. I want to know everything about it and I want to know exactly what to expect, when to expect it, with what and how.

I'm excited for us to kind of "get a move on," so to speak, with our life. I'm so glad we're headed in a direction that actually seems to have a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just... not going to happen tomorrow. Or in a month. Or in six months. Or in a year. It's not going to get better immediately. You know? There's just no immediate benefit. And I guess I'm just having a hard time with it.

Some days are better than others... There's plenty of days, most days, actually, that I can really deal with all of it, and I feel like I'm adjusting, and I feel like I can actually handle all of it. I feel that I'm managing the overwhelming pressure of living in our current situation for another two years. I'm dealing with it, and pretty well, at that. Then there's other days that simply aren't that way. That I just get swallowed up by grief, by frustration and sorrow and anger and sadness. And doubt. I wonder on these days how I'm going to make it another two years. I wondered just yesterday how it was possible to face another day knowing it wasn't even a small dent in the next 730 days I'll be stuck in the same situation.

Luckily those days are few and far between. I don't want anyone's pity, or advice, or counsel, or understanding. I just can't say it to anyone out loud, because it makes it real. It's just easier to get it out there to an anonymous white screen and to type it in the dark and quiet than it is to speak it into being. I just needed to air it out. That's all.

Besides, today is a new day. It's a new year, there's a new blanket of snow outside in the yard, and I have a new free day off work. I also have a new load of laundry to do and new messes to clean up, so it really doesn't make much sense to sit here and piss and moan about it. Whether or not I like the situation or think I can even handle it anymore, it's going to happen. So why am I sitting around whining about it? Yeah, I don't know either.

I'm thinking I'll go ahead and get up and just make the best of today, it's the best I can do.

Peace and love,
and if I figure out how to post the videos of us playing in the snow yesterday, I will.